Name & Surname: Resul Kaan ONAÇ

ID Number: 20200782

Section: 06

Essay Final Draft

KEREM’S ANGER

There would be such a moment that people can sometimes be treated as an outsider because of their own faults. There is a fact that being in such a bad situation isn’t wanted by anybody. However if a person’s behaviour is appraised bad by his friends and associates, he will be treated as an outsider. This person’s friends think s/he cannot be their friend. Since his or her behaviour is not appropriate according to their criterion. His friends may not want to talk with him for a short or long time. Moreover, they may not want to carry on their friendship with him. On the other hand, he expects they will forgive him; anyway he is ready to do anything whatever they want in order to forgive him. Everything may not be whatever he wants.

According to Eric Fromm “The fact that we have to die is unalterable for man. Man is aware of this fact, and this very awareness profoundly influences his life.” (Text Book, p.p.2) This means that when human being thinks that death is unalterable for him, he feels depressed and upset. As a consequence, it is probably unavoidable to think himself as an outsider. Since he didn’t want to share his opinions about that death is unalterable. So, he feels himself depressed and as an outsider.

I have not been treated as an outsider until now. In contrast, I come across with lots of events in which some of my friends or relatives are outsiders. One of my experiences is about my friend Kerem who is elder than me. I want to talk about him a little. He has 9 brothers. This is one of the most important unusual conditions for him. In my opinion having too many brother may make him behave not as other people do. He has some interesting peculiarities because of having too many brothers that I can’t occasionally understand easily. Maybe it has no importance for you that having many brothers or sisters, but it can change a person’s behaviour.

I witnessed that Kerem had a trouble with his friends and he was treated as an outsider for a few weeks. Was it his fault or not? Describing event should be helpful in order to decide.  But in order to make any kind of sense of it I need to go back four years. There was a football match and his friends asked him whether he could play in the match. He wanted to play and promised them he would come. He supposed it was an ordinary match, because they didn’t mention about the rivals. However, this match wasn’t ordinary, because they were playing against very important and powerful rivals who were professional players. After he learned they would play against professional players he was surprised and pleased very much since this could be only a dream playing against professional players and he was able to take part in this dream. So he had to go there on time whatever happened if he didn’t want to miss this rare chance. Anyway, he knew the importance of this match and there wasn’t any obstacle that prevented him from going to match. If a problem occurred he would absolutely solve it. Everything wasn’t going to be as he planned or expected. The days passed and the great day came. He was very excited in the morning. It wasn’t probably easy to get calm. If I were he, I would probably be more excited than him. Everything was normal until the night, which the match was played. His dream was coming true, but dreams have a nasty habit of going bad when you’re not looking for.

While he was going to match, his elder brother called him back. He was surprised and felt terrible because he couldn’t understand why he was called. He came back and asked his brother. His brother told Kerem that he couldn’t go anywhere and must have waited in the shop. His brother was a tradesman and he had to go somewhere. However, Kerem also had to go somewhere. What would happen at this moment?

Kerem was furious, but his brother is elder than Kerem. So, Kerem must have talked calmly with his brother. After a few seconds he felt himself ready and began to talk. He explained that this was a very important match and he certainly had to go. On the contrary, his brother could go another time. If he didn’t go immediately, he would probably be late for the match. As a result he would miss this opportunity, which could not be found again. His friends never forgave him. In contrast, his brother didn’t accept his reasons and allow him to go to match. His brother claimed that Kerem had to wait at the shop until he came back. Since there was nobody except him. Kerem was very furious with his brother but there was nothing he could do. He cursed his fate and thought about their friendship. Maybe they wouldn’t forgive him and wouldn’t talk with him again. Couldn’t his brother allow him? At least his brother could tell him before and he would tell his friends he couldn’t come. So they would find another person in order to play. As a consequence his dream couldn’t be true. When he thought this event he always cursed his fate.                                                                                   

On the following day he went to talk with his friends and apologised them for the unexpected event. He tried to persuade them, but they didn’t have the same idea. They told him he had to come whatever happened, since they were not such ordinary players you could see anywhere. Because Sivas was not a big city and there were not so many professional teams. As a result playing a match with professional players was not ordinary in Sivas.  Kerem mentioned that he agreed with them. However, his brother didn’t allow in the end. Nevertheless he wasn’t able to persuade them. They excluded him and didn’t talk. On the other hand, although he apologised them whenever he saw; they didn’t forgave him. Kerem thought that he didn’t have any fault at first. Conversely, later he realised he had some faults in this event. He might pay more attention, because he didn’t talk about this match with his brother before. This was his fault, since if he had talked about; there would have been probably no trouble. Thus, he wouldn’t be treated as an outsider.

 He thought about his faults during following weeks. I had never seen him like that before; he was always quiet. Despite of the fact that he wasn’t a quiet and calm person, he became more quiet and calm person and always behaved more thoughtful after this event. As a result his friends noticed the change in his behaviour and they decided to forgive him a few months later. Since they realised that everybody could make mistakes and the most important thing was forgiving them if he accepted his fault and tried to correct it. They became closer friends. Kerem never missed an appointment and his friends never excluded somebody for such faults again.

In conclusion, people might sometimes be treated as an outsider. The reasons can be their faults or maybe not. However the most important thing is that being an outsider is not a good situation and nobody wants being an outsider. So, people should be more careful in their relationships and they should pay more attention.